Why do I rage? Yesterday, there was nothing safe from my scathing eye. In the words of Adele, I could have set fire to the rain. I smoldered with an inward inferno. In the days’ wake, I left behind the ashes of customers who challenged me, classmates who crossed my path, and assignments nearly due. Probably best that when the days’ must do’s were done, I withdrew from the world.
I’ve heard it’s a guy thing, but withdrawing provides perspective. Being far removed, I can take a deep breath and begin to investigate.
So, why do I rage? It’s the aftermath of unexpected vulnerability. Yesterday, an impromptu presentation in my Fine Arts class left me feeling embarrassed and personally exposed. The I should have said this, and should have done that’s began to pile up in my mind. Frustrated, I realized, because I had no armor. This is vulnerability. To put yourself out there, even in circumstances outside of your control and surrender to the outcome.
As creatives, how do we embrace vulnerability when it seems the world is full of critics, ready and willing to tear us down? I’ve been listening to interviews with Brene’ Brown, author of Daring Greatly who relates powerful insights about the importance of vulnerability in our society. It is important despite any potential criticism to share our creative voice with the world. Today, after sitting with my reflections I am choosing to look at my experience as a valuable one. I made a note during class about why it is important to go through uncomfortable experiences like the one I had yesterday. The willingness to go through a vulnerable moment means that you become a leader, not a follower. You forge into the unknown, like a creative pioneer. And although not always easy, I realize now that it is a part of the process.
Artist, Writer, Wayshower
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